Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
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