used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
