Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
