Say something about gay babies.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
