Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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