it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
