let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Randomize
