I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
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