i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize