i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
