walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
