the day after is always just damage control
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
We are all done wearing pants today
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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