I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
