i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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