There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
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