It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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