And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize