Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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