no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
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