If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I'm lost and stupid without you.
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
