you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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