it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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