i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
