so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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