Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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