I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
