addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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