Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
The beers last night were like the tears from god
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
