Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
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Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
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I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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