4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
