her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
My breasts were aching with rage.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
