just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
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