What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
