what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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