And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
