I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Let's get the cat blown out
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Randomize
