i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
