Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
