If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
