You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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