Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize
