I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
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