if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
