Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
