Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
