people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
You ruined the universe
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
