You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
