her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I need a burrito and a hug.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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