Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
