I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
