dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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