Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
