Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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