I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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