This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
he laminated a picture of his dick.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
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