would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
