We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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