I like to think it a success when the cops are called
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
