You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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