so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
