i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize
