but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
