he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
