The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
